A nurse walks past the open door and does one of those comedy double-takes. He gets up and walks out to check on things.įifteen minutes later I’m still sat on the bed with my old chap out and pants around my ankles. Lights dipped out, generators kicked in.Īs he’s finishing the examination, mid-sentence, the lights go out again. Was at a urologist in a hospital and there were a couple of power cuts. “But there was a toilet in there, so I didn’t need this after all.” “Thanks,” he says, returning the empty container. “The bathroom’s over there.” A few minutes later, the patient comes out of the bathroom. “Here,” says the nurse, handing the patient a urine specimen container. “I just looked up how to perform this operation on YouTube.” “Don’t worry about a thing,” he assured me. When I went to the ER to have a painful ingrown toenail removed, I was sobbing, gagging, petrified … the works. When I woke up at home I asked my dad why my teeth were in a plastic bag on the table, he told me everything and promptly started calling me Lord Molar for the rest of the night. When I came out from having my wisdom teeth pulled I apparently shot up, looked at the doctor and said “Charlatan! I demand you return my teeth! They are mine and I will choose where they are to be spent!” My dad said he couldn’t stop laughing because I wouldn’t leave without them. “You remind me of my third husband,” she said coyly. Luckily she didn’t remember it.Īs I leaned in to check her eyes, my older patient got a little frisky. ‘That’s the best bit of cock I have had in years!’ The whole recovery room just fell about laughing. She gagged, we removed the tube, she smacked her lips and said loudly, in her incredible accent: The team was around waiting for her to wake up and gag a little on the tube in her throat (for breathing) so we knew it was time to remove it. Anyway, this lady was in recovery just coming out of the anesthetic. There was an anesthetic that we used that sometimes induced some hallucinations either going under or coming out of anesthesia and heard some funny things. Was doing varicose veins surgery on a very posh middle-aged lady. He was so drunk it went totally over his head. As straight-faced and professionally as possible I said, “Sir…liar, liar, pants on fire.” The paramedics all turned at once and ran out of the room they were laughing so hard! The patient just stared at me. It was a once in a lifetime set up and I couldn’t help myself. I smelled alcohol on his breath so I asked the guy if he had been drinking and he looked me directly in the eye and said, “Nooooo.” I got drunk just standing next to him. He had been trying to use a propane-powered weed burner in his yard (think flamethrower) and things got a little out of control. His shoes are charred and the bottoms of his pants are definitely burned away but his skin isn’t so bad. Guy comes into the emergency department via Ambulance with burns on his lower extremities. Here is a list of occasions when doctor/patient interactions were just too funny. Despite the fact that nobody really likes going to the doctor, the potential for awkward situations can be comedy gold.
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